Mental Health

Insignificant Moments

Oh, my father is a wealthy, self made man
But his wealth does not consist of riches or acres of land
And instead he has a family who are his biggest fans
That’s something that I one day hope to have

Paolo Nutini

https://www.instagram.com/p/CH3V5h4Buyc/

Something I’ve done for as long as I can remember is writing down pretty much every time something random and seemingly small makes me feel very happy. Sometimes it’s just a feeling and sometimes it’s something specific that makes me smile or laugh. Recently I was sorting through the hundreds of notes on my phone (gemini + OCD = a very busy mind) and I found a mini list of these moments I made back in the summer when I was going through a particularly happy and optimistic spell. As I’ve spoken about before, I’m definitely someone who gets wrapped up in only focusing on ‘big’ achievements or events that make me feel good, but (to quote Paolo) it’s the little things that mean the most to me. So here they are, and they probably won’t mean a lot to anyone apart from me but it’s always nice to share!

  • Breathing in the cool air from outside in the middle of a hot night with the window open. Put me right back in the bedroom in the Normandy cottage, felt exactly the same
  • Dad went outside in his pants to dance in the rain
  • Me and Ol got back from a date sunburnt and stood in the shower spraying cold water at each other
  • Another hot night with the window open, but it’s pouring with rain right outside the window and I’m tucked up in bed in the dark reading a horror book
  • Seeing Olly’s uni friends again for a rainy Lake District weekend and them telling me he was “relentless” in talking about me at uni (Olly would never divulge such information)
  • Found out grandma was a botanist and can’t believe I didn’t know. Dad and I looked through her vintage plant and mushroom ID books and they had her little inscriptions in the front, felt like she was there
  • Was having a bad day and my favourite dog came to the shop

I think everyday gratitude is so important for our general mental health. I used to use an app called Happy Days which was great for a while, but then OCD took hold and it actually began to stress me out if I missed a day. So not the point! Eventually I emailed the app developer to ask whether I could go back to a day I’d missed, to which he sassily replied that the whole point of the app is to find simple happiness in the everyday, and that if it was making me feel stressed and anxious, I probably wasn’t using it right (my mum and therapist found this completely hilarious).

If you reckon you’re a bit hardier than me and can handle a daily check-in with a pretty straightforward app, I would really recommend it. But it’s just as beneficial, I think, for it to feel like less of a chore and more just something you do when you feel particularly great, especially if you jot it down randomly somewhere and find it again months later. Then it’s like reliving that happy little moment all over again.

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